Recently, news filtered in of the untimely death of talented and popular musician, Osinachi Nwachukwu who was said to have died as a result of domestic violence.
The question on the lips of so many is that, “What could have led to it?” Could it be that the woman was stubborn or insultive or that the man just like to beat?
Well, nobody should be surprised that some men like to beat. Probably they grew up seeing their fathers doing the same and it runs through the family. It will take the grace of God to take such habit away from the men in that family.
If not that late Osinachi was popular, the violence of his husband would have gone unnoticed and the children would have followed the same footsteps when they become men/husband. They would have believed that it was part of life.
Meanwhile, the writer also came across a lady during courtship who claimed that she preferred to go out with a man who will be beating her once in a while. It sounds bizarre but that is the truth. The lady eventually left to be with another man because the writer does not know how to carry out such act.
Come to think of it, even if a woman is insultive, men should be able to manage them. Naturally, women are insultive except the ones that have been delivered or are believers.
If every man or husband have it at the back of their mind that they cannot beat up their junior or elder sister who are married or their mother, then it will be difficult to raise their hands and beat their wives.
It sounds insane for somebody to beat oneself because Bible in Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh.” If you and your wife are one, then you are stupidly beating yourself.
If a man notices any abnormality in his wife later in their marriage, then the man should be able to manage it because marriage is for better, for worse. Also, the man ought to have notice those things during courtship except for those who just pick a lady on the street and impregnate her.
The annoying aspect is that the people who involve in violence especially in beating their wives are mostly the ones who did not or have not paid the dowries of those ladies. And because the ladies are at their mercies, they maltreat them because most of them don’t have where to go especially those who are orphans.
Even if the marriage was not paid for, that does not give room for such. The woman supposed to be celebrated because of the many responsibilities she carries. To the man, she is the sister, she is a mother, she is the lover, a confidant, friend, cook/chef, home doctor, partner, an adviser, etc while to the children, she is a mother, a teacher, a confidant, home doctor, etc.
In fact, the woman is the neck if the man is the head. The head cannot stand on its own without the support of the neck. It is only a reasonable man that understands this, and will always appreciate his wife no matter the circumstance.
Well, some may say, you have not come across a bad woman that is why the writer is sounding like this. It is pertinent to note that all women are the same but it depends on how you handle them. They are like computers, whatever you key into the system is what it will give you.
A friend once told our correspondent how a man of God used to beat his wife until neighbours intervened. The man felt embarrassed that he was being preached to instead of the other way round.
He changed his approach that night and today they are living happily. In fact, according to the story, whenever a problem ensues, they quarrel a little bit and the next thing you hear is romantic talk from their bedroom.
Likewise, men are all the same. Every man has an element of madness and wickedness, it is the grace of God that makes many to do away with theirs.
Meanwhile, even if it is good to beat up your wife, there is need for you to consider the negative effect it will have on those children and others around. Once they grow up with it, it will be disastrous.
Children learn very fast and whatever they learn stick with them forever until you that teach them change it. And the worrisome aspect is that, they do more than what they learn. They go beyond whatever they learn.
We have been talking about men beating women, also there are cases where women also beat their husbands. In those days, a policewoman used to beat her husband in Nyanya, a suburb in Abuja.
The woman is huge and intimidating but the day the man summoned courage and beat her up, she went to the station and brought her colleagues to beat her husband and ever since then, the man has not been fighting the wife. Whenever a problem is looming, he quickly leaves the house.
That is another way to handle a woman especially those ones that are provocative. Instead of exchanging words with them, just take a walk away from the scene, by the time you return, the atmosphere would have been calm. Staying in such environment would amount to you raising your hands on her.
Wisdom, we are meant to understand by the Bible, is profitable to direct. Having the required wisdom to tackle the issue of marriage is very important. And there is need for the men to tolerant the habits of their wives and get people they respect especially spiritual parents to help out if they are finding it difficult to handle the issue but if the woman is recalcitrant and the man cannot tolerant her excesses anymore, then he should quietly get a divorce or return the woman to the parents instead of resulting to beating that can lead to her death. A word is enough for the wise.